(ETW April Fools) USDOT Staffer Makes Shocking Discovery of the 21st Century

ISSUE / ETW April Fools Edition - April 1, 2017

  • April 01,2017 |

    (ETW April Fools) USDOT Staffer Makes Shocking Discovery of the 21st Century

    BY GREG ROGERS WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Navy Yard was buzzing with excitement on Friday after a junior policy analyst at the U.S. Department of Transportation made a startling discovery. The...
  • April 01,2017 |

    (ETW April Fools) The Little VP Who Could: Joe Biden Riding the Rails to Retirement

    BY CAROLYN DORF WILMINGTON, DE – For several weeks, passengers riding the Amtrak Northeast Corridor between Washington, DC and Wilmington, DE have reported seeing a train conductor who looks...
(ETW April Fools) Amtrak Retires its Ailing Tank Engine, Thomas

(ETW April Fools) Amtrak Retires its Ailing Tank Engine, Thomas

BY JENNA FORTUNATI WASHINGTON, D.C. – After a distinguished career of service, Thomas the Tank Engine is retiring from Amtrak’s rolling stock, the company announced Thursday. Thomas’s...

(ETW April Fools) Top Democrat on T&I Arrested for Fundraising at Local Gas Station

(ETW April Fools) Top Democrat on T&I Arrested for Fundraising at Local Gas Station

“Pennies for progress, help save America’s roads, pennies for progress!” BY GREG ROGERS WASHINGTON, D.C.—The top Democrat on the House Transportation & Infrastructure Committee,...

(ETW April Fools) Down-on-His-Luck Herbie Finds New Hope Driving for Lyft

(ETW April Fools) Down-on-His-Luck Herbie Finds New Hope Driving for Lyft

BY CAROLYN DORF HOLLYWOOD, CA – It’s an old Hollywood cliché, washed-up movie star hasn’t found decent work in years, goes into debt, and is forced to work any job they can get. While this...

(ETW April Fools) Elon Musk Unveils Fully-Built Hyperloop Network Under Los Angeles

(ETW April Fools) Elon Musk Unveils Fully-Built Hyperloop Network Under Los Angeles

BY GREG ROGERS LOS ANGELES, CA – The City of Angels was alight with excitement – and not a small amount of confusion – today as commuters poured into its newly-opened Hyperloop system that...

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